It is amazing how much can change in such a small amount of time. Sometimes it surprises me to think of how different my life is now. Just a month or so ago I wanted this so bad, I applied, I prayed, I thought this was the right thing. Now, two days from the interview, I am not so sure.
How could this, that has been such a huge part of my life for the past couple years, and something that I thought I would be involved in forever, be something that I am not sure I want anything to do with. I want to do what is right. I want to do what God has planned. For so long I thought this would be one of the stops on this path that He has made for me. But now, in this place in my life where so many things are changing, I am not sure I want this to be the next change.
It is so hard to know what the right thing is. I definitely didn't want to just disregard this opportunity and that is why I am keeping the possibility open with this interview.
I am trying to keep an open mind because who knows, after the interview, they might not even offer me the job. I do fear though that if they do offer me the job and I don't feel like that is the next step in my life, will I be able to say no. Will I be able to stand up for the changes in my life and the realization that this might not be the next step? Honestly, only God knows what is going to happen and sometimes, well most of the time, that scares the crap out of me!