Getting away

It's crazy sometimes how television shows can give you such a great insight to your life. Tonight I was watching One Tree Hill and one of the lines was " it was good to get away and get a different perspective on life." It made me realize how true that statement is in my life. So many things seemed so crazy when I was home ( in ga ) but now that I have spent a few weeks in Ohio with my family, I realize what really is the most important. Some of the things that were bothering me are still there but I recognize how to not put them at the top of the list of worries. Most of all I have come to worry less and trust God more which I think in itself is a huge accomplishment. A friend shared these words with me tonight. They are from a book called Jesus Calling and they really spoke to me and the place that I am in life right now. I hope they speak to you as well.

"Trust Me enough to let things happen without striving to predict or control them. Relax, and refresh yourself in the Light of My everlasting Love...when you project yourself into the future, rehearsing what you will do or say, you are seeking to be self-sufficient: to be adequate without My help. This is a subtle sin- so common that it usually slips by unnoticed.

The alternative is to live fully in the present, depending on Me each moment. Rather than fearing your inadequacy, rejoice in My abundant supply. Train your mind to seek My help continually, even when you feel competent to handle something by yourself... learn to rely on Me in every situation. This discipline will enable you to enjoy life more and to face each day confidently"

Oh how things change.

It crazy how we plan and plan and plan and yet no matter how much we plan, God's plan is always the one that wins out. I thought I had everything planned to go to Australia but little did I know God had a different plan. You see, I thought that this experience was going to be one of crazy stories and impossible happenings, but what has happened is that God decided that I needed a lesson in patience and trusting Him instead.

As some of you know, I am not in Australia. I am still in the states, in Ohio. This is definitely not where I thought I would be today. I thought I would be in Townsville undergoing orientation for the amazing 6 month journey that I was about to take place in. I didn't think that I would be at my parents house in Ohio, not sure of what the future holds.

Learning trust and patience is a very hard concept. I know that I am getting better at it, but it seems harder some days. I don't like not knowing what happens next. I like to have a plan!

So, here is my plan.....I'm going to Trust God!

When I say I don't know what the future holds, it pretty much covers everything. I know that I was not to be on the October trip of DTS and I do believe that I am to be on the January one. However, God has a funny way of changin things up on me. So here is what I do know. I have a house that I need rented, I have funds that need raised, and preferably,I have a car that needs sold. I know that God can orchestrate all of that beautifully to come together for this january trip and I really hope that He does. So what I have learned is that I am going to do my part and pursue this thing with all my heart. I am going to work hard to find a renter, work hard to raise the money, and just simply work hard. But what I have come to learn is that, if for some reason it still doesn't happen in January, God has a plan and it is far greater than anything I could imagine so I am going to trust in that and know that the path that I am on is a blessed one.

Update

SO I have been really bad at updating this weekly. Hopefully I will be better at it when Im actually over in Australia.

Currently things are progressing slowly but God is teaching me lessons through it so my faith and trust in Him and this whole process is very high. I know that He will get me there!

This week He taught me such a huge lesson.

Even though God knows the desires of our hearts does not mean that He doesn't want to hear us ask for them!

I realized that throughout this whole journey, I don't think I actually sat back and just asked God to provide for this trip. How crazy is that??? How crazy am I???

Yesterday I sent up a simple request and He was so faithful to come through. I know that He will do the same for the finances on this trip.

Thanks for praying for me and this journey. I know God has amazing things planned for me. He has already changed me so much I can't imagine who I will be after this whole experience!

Info

I know I haven't let everyone in on Exactly what's going on so I thought now would be a good time...

In Mark 15:16 Jesus tells us to, “Go into all the world and preach the Good News to everyone.” This October I plan on doing just that.

I have been given an amazing opportunity to serve with YWAM for six months beginning in October. I will be participating in a program called Discipleship Training School ( DTS). As well as going on multiple mission outreaches, I will also be participating in training where my group of 29 will be learning how to share the Gospel to the best of our abilities to others all over the world. The program will start in Australia and lead to multiple destinations. Some of our mission opportunities will take place in Australia while others will take place in other countries, still being determined.

I am so excited for the opportunity to go and serve God in another part of the world and I would love it if you would partner with me. Most importantly I am asking for your prayers. This is unlike anything I have ever done before and I am more than excited. I know that I am going to be stretched and tested like never before and would love for you to join with me in prayer during these upcoming six months.

The other way I would love for you to partner with me is financially. Because this is a six month program the fees are quite a bit larger than a short-term missions trip. I am hoping to raise $15,000 for this six months. There are a few ways that you can help me financially. One would be by donating directly to me. Even if you can only give five or ten dollars, every little bit will help. Also, if you would like to donate via credit card you can go to the YWAM website ( www.ywamrto.org)

and click on “Donate” and then place my name in the recipient space. If you choose to do this please let me know so that I can contact them and make sure that there were no problems with the donation. Also, I will be compiling a list of supplies that I am going to need for this trip. If you would feel more comfortable in helping me obtain those items that too would be greatly appreciated.

I will be updating this weblog about my journey with YWAM. As soon as I get the list of what is needed I will post it there as well.

If you would like more information on the program or the organization please feel free to look at their website www.ywamdts.org.

I would love it if you could support me in this stage of my life both prayerfully and financially. Thank you so much for the impact you have made on my life already!

Australia

Well it has began,

I am finishing up my support letter right now and going to get together all my addresses. It is a scary thing. I can't believe that this is actually happening. I always knew that God was amazing but seeing Him in action is incredible!

Pursuing God...

I thought it would be a good idea to put this in writing, not only to hold myself accountable but so that anyone who reads it can do the same as well as possibly join me.

For the past couple weeks I have been toying ( aka fighting what God was leading me to do ) with a no dating pact. I gave in a little bit and said well maybe just till the end of summer I wont date. (Not that the boys are knocking down the doors) but I wasn't really committed. Well Sunday Andy challenged singles to go on a one year relationship break. He challenged us to take a year to focus not on members of the opposite and whether or not they would be "the one". To take time to focus on ourselves. To focus on our relationship with God. To focus on preparing ourselves for when that time actually comes. As I write this I am reminded of a quote that I just heard in a message, " If you wait to prepare for a fight until you find the fight then you will always fail." I think this totally can apply to relationships. Why do we wait until we think we have found the person that we want to spend the rest of our lives with to prepare ourselves?

So, here it is, I am taking a break. Until December 31, 2010 I am not going to date anyone. I am taking the rest of this year to pursue and build my relationship with God. I want to move from a child of God to a woman of God. I am asking God to prepare me to be a woman that can be a godly wife. I know that the road ahead is going to be tough but I also know that He will always be there right beside me to get me through it. I want the rest of this year to be about finding myself and who I am in Christ. Who He wants me to be and hopefully along the way find out where He wants me to be.

I am super excited about the journey ahead. I know that I will struggle but I also know that God will be there with His grace ready to pick me up and continue walking on this life journey.

Ballroom Dancing

It's crazy how so many things in life relate to each other.

Last night I went ballroom dancing with some friends.

When I was dancing with one of my friends, he was trying to teach me a dance, and I kept messing up. Finally he stopped and looked at me and said " Stop Leading" and when I did, when I just followed his lead and released control we were able to just dance without messing up.

You see, I have been going through this lesson in life where I need to learn to be patient. I have trouble just sitting back and letting things happen with the natural flow. I want things to happen in a certain order and a certain time. And I most certainly like to be in control. It occurred to me that I need to approach life the way I approached the dance. Give up control and learn to follow the one who is leading. I won't be able to see what is coming because my back is turned. But the beauty of it, is that He is holding me close to Him and directing me to where I need to go. Once I learn to give up the direction that I think things should be going and just follow Him, the rest of the trip will be like a smooth dance.

Magic Eye

Have you ever tried to do one of these? You try and when you almost have it, you lose it, so you try again. On and on until you finally see what is hidden?

Sometimes that is how I feel about my relationship with God. I have this puzzle of my life in front of me and I am trying to figure out what I am missing. I seem to get so close sometimes and then I lose focus and have to start over. Sometimes I repeat this process over and over again. The great thing is though, that more times then not, God comes along and helps me keep my focus so that I can see what is underneath the pretty flowers.

If we keep our focus in life on God, it wont seem like a crazy puzzle all the time and we will be able to see His heart and love in our lives.

Follow Me

Matthew 9: 9

"As Jesus passed on from there, He saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax office. And He said to him, "Follow Me." So he arose and followed Him." (NKJV)

It is that simple. God has asked us to Follow Him and all we have to do is get up and go. The rest will follow. The road will be bumpy at times and not always straight. But God is right there beside us, He us helping us make it through. All we have to do is not go our own way. As long as we stay on path with Him we will be blessed.

Awake

It's amazing how God chooses to get messages across.

You see, the fact is, that we are stubborn as human beings. We have to be told over and over and in crazy ways sometimes before we will take to heart what is being told to us. For weeks now, maybe even months, God has been trying to get something across to me and I have been completely stubborn. Basically running from the truth that God was putting right in front of my face. I thought that I knew better. Or at least that is what I kept telling myself. The truth is, that I was scared of what the truth really was. I thought I would be giving up so much and missing out on something. So, instead of trusting, I ran my way. I kept up my ideas and my ways because I thought that I knew best. God must have been so frustrated with me! I can just see Him up there now going 'Come on Nicole, how many ways do you want me to show you...'

Well, I am happy to say that I finally got it! And the truth is that I didn't give up anything. In fact, I just gained everything. You see it all comes down to one thing.

WE ARE NOT PERFECT

We can attempt it and strive for it, but we will never be perfect. But the great thing is that we don't have to be. God sent His son to take on all of our sin and imperfection.

HE DIED ON THE CROSS FOR US

Jesus gave us the best gift of all. He loved us so much that He died for us. He gave up His life. And the great, yet somewhat sad, thing is that He did it knowing that we wouldn't be perfect, and knowing that we would screw up and need forgiveness time and time again. And He did it anyways. And not only that but He offers us His grace over and over again. So much more than we deserve. That in itself is the best gift of all. But there is so much more.

He LOVES us. He loves us no matter what. No matter what we have done or what we are going to do, He loves us. No matter who we are or what we look like, He loves us. There is NOTHING we can do that will cause Him to stop loving us. Do you get that? Your parents can love you, your friends can love you, your spouse can love you. None of that even slightly compares to the Love of our Father.

I am finally getting it! It has taken so much to get here. I have been trying to find this place for such a long time. And honestly, I think a part of me still fights it, BUT the truth is now festered deep down in my soul and know that it's here to stay.

This is what it comes down to --> Christianity is not about living a 'perfect' life. It is about living a life of loving God. It is about being a sail hoister and a door holder. Christianity is about knowing that the God who created the universe LOVES you and embracing that truth everyday. It is about knowing that you will never be good enough for what He has in store for us, but being thankful that He gives it to us anyways. Christianity is about trusting God and knowing that the road up ahead may be foggy to us, but God can see the whole picture. And above all, Christianity is not about your religion or practices, but it is about having a personal and ongoing relationship with The One who created you.

It may have taken me months to get it, but I have finally opened my eyes to see what was in front of me all along.

Life...

It has almost been a year since my last post.... I went back and read some of the things that I had already written. Its crazy how introspective I was then... But that funny thing is, those questions I had about my life over a year ago are still the same questions that I have now. Life still doesn't make sense, the future is still unclear. I am still scared. BUT, I have figured out so many things since then, learned so many lessons and grown so much. Even though I can still relate to the person that wrote those old posts, I know that I am not that same person anymore.

And knowing that, gives me hope for the future. :)