It's amazing how God chooses to get messages across.
You see, the fact is, that we are stubborn as human beings. We have to be told over and over and in crazy ways sometimes before we will take to heart what is being told to us. For weeks now, maybe even months, God has been trying to get something across to me and I have been completely stubborn. Basically running from the truth that God was putting right in front of my face. I thought that I knew better. Or at least that is what I kept telling myself. The truth is, that I was scared of what the truth really was. I thought I would be giving up so much and missing out on something. So, instead of trusting, I ran my way. I kept up my ideas and my ways because I thought that I knew best. God must have been so frustrated with me! I can just see Him up there now going 'Come on Nicole, how many ways do you want me to show you...'
Well, I am happy to say that I finally got it! And the truth is that I didn't give up anything. In fact, I just gained everything. You see it all comes down to one thing.
WE ARE NOT PERFECT
We can attempt it and strive for it, but we will never be perfect. But the great thing is that we don't have to be. God sent His son to take on all of our sin and imperfection.
HE DIED ON THE CROSS FOR US
Jesus gave us the best gift of all. He loved us so much that He died for us. He gave up His life. And the great, yet somewhat sad, thing is that He did it knowing that we wouldn't be perfect, and knowing that we would screw up and need forgiveness time and time again. And He did it anyways. And not only that but He offers us His grace over and over again. So much more than we deserve. That in itself is the best gift of all. But there is so much more.
He LOVES us. He loves us no matter what. No matter what we have done or what we are going to do, He loves us. No matter who we are or what we look like, He loves us. There is NOTHING we can do that will cause Him to stop loving us. Do you get that? Your parents can love you, your friends can love you, your spouse can love you. None of that even slightly compares to the Love of our Father.
I am finally getting it! It has taken so much to get here. I have been trying to find this place for such a long time. And honestly, I think a part of me still fights it, BUT the truth is now festered deep down in my soul and know that it's here to stay.
This is what it comes down to --> Christianity is not about living a 'perfect' life. It is about living a life of loving God. It is about being a sail hoister and a door holder. Christianity is about knowing that the God who created the universe LOVES you and embracing that truth everyday. It is about knowing that you will never be good enough for what He has in store for us, but being thankful that He gives it to us anyways. Christianity is about trusting God and knowing that the road up ahead may be foggy to us, but God can see the whole picture. And above all, Christianity is not about your religion or practices, but it is about having a personal and ongoing relationship with The One who created you.
It may have taken me months to get it, but I have finally opened my eyes to see what was in front of me all along.